War Bride

2006-02-09T01:37:00.000-05:00

This war bride wishes that she weren't.

Unaccompanied Assignment

2005-11-16T23:13:00.000-05:00

I'm going home.

2005-10-29T23:55:00.000-04:00

And after a while, I just faded away.

When you find the truth, keep looking.

2005-08-10T22:00:00.000-04:00

I cried through the whole Peter Jennings memorial special tonight. It may seem foolish because I never knew the man; but, you see, I did know him.

Peter Jennings got me through the war.

Wasted

2005-08-06T03:04:00.000-04:00

Danny has spent the past hour in the car, passed out.

I know it's his birthday weekend, but this is fucking insane.

The Pool

2005-08-03T16:08:00.000-04:00

On my "weekend" from the store, I've spent my past two afternoons at one of the community pools on post.

I don't belong there.

I am nineteen. I am not the daughter of a specialist or a sargeant. I am not the mother of three children under the age of seven.

I arrive alone. I talk to no one. I leave alone.

No one knows who I am. I wonder if they wonder about me. Who I am. Who I belong to. Where I live. Why I look good in a bikini.

I am in between. I am not a daughter, I am not a mother. I am just a wife.

Korea

2005-07-26T03:10:00.000-04:00

Oh sweet Jesus, don't let him get sent to Korea.

Because if he goes to Korea, I can't go with him.

Sick

2005-07-23T00:41:00.000-04:00

At a loss for a designated driver, I told Danny and the boys that I would pick them up from the bar tonight.

Danny called me around 11:15 to tell me I was welcome to come up there and hang out if I wanted.

Fifteen minutes later, he called back. He wanted to be picked up. NOW.

By the time I got there, he was thankfully done puking his drinks all over the parking lot. I hate when that kind of thing happens, and wouldn't let him get in the car until he was sure he was finished. He apologized the whole way home and the whole time I was putting him to bed. I told him not to worry.

It's Jack that I'm mad at.

Jack and Danny are practically brothers ever since they came back from Iraq. Jack's alcohol problem is worlds worse than Danny's, however, and got so bad that he got sent to the Army's rehab program for a month.

The night he got back, he did a beer bong.

If it weren't for Jack, Danny wouldn't be an alcoholic.

And I'm talking about more than one "Jack."

R&R

2005-07-21T02:11:00.000-04:00

We picked up a hitchhiker last night.

We've never done that before, but he was walking on post down a bit from our house, and was wearing DCUs. He's home for R&R from Iraq, and some guys had given him some shitty directions to the Shopette. He was in a bad place over there- no electricity or water; lost a guy in an ambush early on before losing a vehicle to an IED. And he has to go back next week for another six months in the same area.

I never knew his name. But if something happens to him, I'll know who he is the moment it's on the news.

Bonus Payday

2005-07-15T03:06:00.000-04:00

A $130 paycheck just got posted to my bank account. It's $130 of bonuses that I earned.

Danny needs to pay off his overdraft fees and bad checks within ten days, or he risks ruining his reputation with the bank.

I don't want to give him my money. He wants my money, but I don't want to give it to him.

He needs to learn. He never learns, but he needs to.

I feel very hopeless right now.

Once-a-month payday

2005-07-11T02:57:00.000-04:00

Danny's broke again.

Once the last of the bills go through, he'll be at $-200.

I'm not surprised.

But no matter what I do, I can't make him stop.

Peaches

2005-07-09T00:11:00.000-04:00

Every time I go to the Shopette at night, Peaches is there. He (she?) is an old stray cat that looks like a creamsicle and cries like a lost child every night in the parking lot. I talk to it when I'm stopping by to hit the ATM or taking the guys to get booze, but have never gotten close enough to pet the creature that sits precariously by car tires as if it's waiting for you to return from the store.

Peaches doesn't have long to live if Peaches keeps hanging around the parking lot.

Some drunk idiot will come plowing into the lot one night or plowing out of his spot, and will either kill the animal or mangle it out of a second chance.

Poor thing.

Whenever I'm returning home at night, Crybaby is there hiding in my garden, waiting to dart as soon as she hears me appearing. I've only pet her once. I felt bad one night and put a bowl of food outside for her, because it broke my heart to hear the tiny thing cry. But I can't bring in another. Danny would kill me and Muffin would throw a fit. I don't know who demands more attention- the husband or the cat.

I think that sometimes, I feel like Peaches.

But...Bottomless Cups!

2005-07-08T01:13:00.000-04:00

The bar has bottomless cups during the week. They were $6, but the price has been raised to $8 since, oh, yesterday.

Craig is a good friend. He was crazy after he came home from the war but has mellowed since; I spent last Fourth of July in the hospital with Danny after an accident involving Craig, Danny's hand, and a butter knife.

But that's not the point (today at least).

Danny's pretty broke after having paid the bills. Craig is broke for some reason unknown to me and went to far to scream "I need money for cigarettes!" out his car window and into ours as we passed each other today on the road by our houses.

But they went to the bar anyway. Danny drinks beer now, which is cheaper than whisky but will make him fat, I am sure. At least they play darts all night (their new thing, which led Danny to spend $80+ on a dart board for our house, to mount between my Edward Hopper poster and our "I WANT YOU" Army poster.), which slows down the drinking a lot.

At least Jack got so bad he went to rehab. More on him later.

But Danny and Craig are just wasting away, and wasting my money as they go.

The Beginning

2005-07-06T18:39:00.000-04:00

This is the story of a teenage bride's survival as an Army wife.

Stay tuned.

It's going to be a bumpy ride.